The one about Michael Jackson....

I loved him.

I saved money with my sister to buy the album...yes, the vinyl record, and we listened for hours.
We awaited the premier of his "Thriller" video on Friday Night Videos with baited breath, nervous we wouldn't be able to stay awake (did that show start at midnight, or what?) because we were nowhere near a house that had the elite channel, MTV.

We saved our Shasta sodas and day old Hostess treats, carefully rationed by dad, to add to the experience, and I remember it like it was yesterday.


In High School me and my friends vowed our love to him and further showed our loyalty by praying to be back-up singers someday, with posters plastered in our hotel window on choir tour. We did his moves whenever possible, and usually laughed ourselves silly- or worse, until someone peed their pants. I remember taping my fingers at one point in my life.


After high school the trials and plastic surgeries started, and I was sad to have to admit Michael was a complete freak...but it didn't stop me from using my knowledge for gain.....

And of course, that is me, lip-syncing "Billie Jean" (and winning, might I add), at our singles ward party. I cruised the Halloween dances that year in this get up- and ended up center floor during "Thriller", surrounded by clapping dancers (would have been a you tube hit, I am sure) and even had a girl ask me out. Creepy.

Anyway, MJJ (middle name Joseph....yea, I know that) was such a big part of my life...such a huge part of my dancing and grooving to music and dreaming about stardom. For today I have to put aside the law-suits and stories of abuse and honor him for what he gave me.

Happy days dancing with my radio blasting....learning the moonwalk....giggling with friends...trying to kick my leg to the side....staring at posters... watching my reflection in the big family room window at night, just being a happy kid.

I kind of regret I never saw him live, but I am glad for the silliness I did have as a loyal MJ fan.

Rainy Summer Days

Locals know it has been raining off and on for weeks here, and my family is feeling a little stir crazy. We got out last week to enjoy some cool exhibits at a nearby museum, where we saw some of Walter Wick works (say that 10 times fast), the brilliant man behind the "I Spy" books.

No cameras allowed in the gallery...oopsy...I took this at the doorway and put it away the rest of the time. The little houses and villages were amazing.

Then it was off to feed some ducks and play frisbee..... Which kept the boys busy for a while ( light sprinkles of rain for that portion of the day.)

As for me, my idea of summer fun is a little bit of spotlight time. A nervous audition for a great director I acted besides (eh-hemm) back in the 80's in "Saturday's Warriors" and 2 years ago in "CATS" got me this great news.... That's right.....I get to be a real witch. I can not wait! I have hade dress fittings (inspired by Elphaba from Wicked) and I already bought my green finger nail polish..... now I need to start memorizing those lines.

Summer Arts & Crafts Camp

I excitedly registered my kids for classes in our city's arts festival after the fabulous experience we had last year. My oldest will be jamming with a bluegrass ensemble and getting a first time lesson in songwriting (I want to be a fly on the wall for this one) with Cherie Call.

My youngest sons are taking a LEGO art class that *gasp* had an extra $43.00 fee (on top of the class $30.00 fee) for Legos and storage bins. I gulped down my summer savings anxiety and signed them up, like I said...last year's classes did not disappoint.

But I am chomping at the bit to create, and trying to purge some of my old scrapbook papers and stickers that I will probably never use. I have declared all summer Mommy's Art & Crafts Camp, and will feel free to create (and buy) as my artistic needs arise. That's fair, right?

First Project- Crystal Light Canisters
Cyrstal Light canisters are clean and durable and break my heart to throw away, so I covered these with scrapbook paper- with a little stamping and personalizing. The first one I made I added extra glue- and you can see the squiggles under the paper, which I hate, so skip that and stick with double stick tape on all edges of the paper (a 6'x9' piece)- roll and smooth to stick on.
No need to take off the original wrapper if your paper isn't see through. I have markers and brushes in mine. I imagine ribbon and tags would be cute on these too, but I tend to be impatient and wanted to keep these simple today.

Next is my "About Me" album which is an ongoing process. I finished 2 more pages, making me close to half way done with the book.

The first page is Strengths and Weaknesses- funny how the weaknesses are hidden in a file behind the strengths. It was a fun one to ponder as I worked on it, and I believe this the first picture from my 'CATS" role that I have scrapbooked. What took me so long?



The second page is the Labels page, which I thought sounded kind of dorky in the instruction book. BUT- there was a similar DARE a couple of months ago which made me go ahead and give this page a shot instead of trashing it to do my own thing.
Now I am in LOVE with this page. From a little tag stolen from my most comfy pair of jeans to a cafe' logo from New York, just looking at this page makes me happy. I would have never thought of this cute "label/tag" idea on my own, and I love it. I think labels, tags, and advertising bits would be great in collages so I am going to start stashing these away a lot more.

It is a good start. Summer is already rolling along so quick and I don't have near as much computer time as I do when the kids are gone during the day. Being creative keeps me sane and much like blogging, make me reflects on the ups and downs that are my life.

My scared self is getting the best of me

(Little old me with Congressman Jason Chaffetz at the 9-12 Project rally)

So this little rally started a fire in me. The planning of it, the people I met, the things I discussed all gave me a sort of empowerment. I am not scared to use my voice, and that is a good thing. Even disagreeing with people doesn't cause me anxiety attacks like it once did. So imagine my surprise when my husband kind of thinks it would be fun to support the tax-payers protest rally taking place in D.C. this fall. There will also be memorial services for 9/11 victims and caucus meetings. We booked our tickets and made hotel reservations......

BUT.... I really don't like to hear about Anthrax threats , especially when they are bragged about being like "confetti on the lawns of DC".
Even if you aren't afraid of Anthrax or terrorists, what about crazy people showing up and causing a mess? What about the fact that I am just a little old mom trying to show her kids it's okay to take a stand, but I need to be home on Monday to pack their lunches and send them off to school? I can't be in a mass arrest.....I can't be in some lockdown airport if the crazies come to play, and I certainly don't want to be on the lawn of the White House when the "confetti" falls.

I have taken pride in the fact that I try not to get paranoid and live with peace and happiness, but I am kind of losing confidence in my D.C. vacation.
I'd love to hear your opinion on this (not really the reason why I am going, that is a whole different post and debate) BUT just the fear I am kind of experiencing over the trip. Am I silly for worrying? Should I still go and call it an adventure? Or do I just switch up my vay-cay to some where else, and enjoy the moments I have with my hubby for our anniversary?
What do you think...and also, are you ever scared of this kind of stuff?

Sweet Tidbits

Ahhhhh...the past 24 hours has held a few sweet moments for me.

As you can see, my youngest was looking mighty fine as a cowboy for his reader's theater. He didn't tell me he had a major part as "Pete", the promised cowboy to "Julia" in "Rodeo and Julia". He raced Rodeo for the hand of Julia on a broomstick horse, only to lose and faint in the end. (And I didn't take my camera!)

Next was graduation for my niece. This niece was possibly the first toddler I saw my husband love to pieces, she was the sweetest little girl and babysitter, and is simply the nicest girl you will ever meet. To top that all off, she is beautiful to boot. Seeing her graduate almost made me cry....almost.
Last but not least, today was my oldest sons's fitness day. I signed up to race in the 5k with hundreds of other students and a few other parents. Much to my heart's neediness, he hung out with me before the race and let me stand by him and his friends. After him passing me a few times, then falling back to walk, I finally passed him and noticed he never caught up to me again. When I finished before him he explained to his friends..."Yea, but my mom's a runner." Complete moment of happiness.
(Here he insisted on climbing in a tree after graduation...still a little boy at heart) But I've saved the best for last...because when we got home late last night after dinner he came into my room. He sat on the edge of my bed. He talked about girls, (reluctantly), an upcoming party, things he wants to do this summer, and other random subjects.
I was smart enough to appreciate it.
And that is the sweetest thing of all.

Pet peeves from a reader

I love to read. I love the feel of a new book in my hands, the stacks of books around me that I may never get to but still insist on adding to, and the swirl of my download icon on my Kindle when I put something new on there. I don't always get as much time to read as I would like, but that doesn't stop my from plowing through as many books as I can sneak time in to do. (if you are a reader and you would like to peek at my opinions on books I have read go to Shelfari to do so).

Over the years however, I have developed a few strange pet peeves over books.

First-the DREAM sequence. You know the one, when you are reading along and suddenly there is a freaky scene happening with all these 'symbolic' meanings and events, and the character awakes with a new found understanding, or not. I hate these.

Why can't the author just write that angst/knowledge/fear etc. into the story? I always feel dreams are a cop out, with very few exceptions. I hate them. A book always drops down a notch or two in my eyes if there are dream sequences in them.


Second- I hate repetitive phrases. When I read The Work and The Glory (don't judge me people) I thought I would scream if I read one more woman "looking up at him through tear-filled eyes" or one more man "turning on his heel to leave". Remember the book The Memory Keeper's Daughter ? Loved the book- except for the 3 or 4 times she described the baby as having a 'starfish hand'. How creepy is that? Starfish are so weird when they slime across an aquarium tank....and she used that one several times. I don't know why these stick out for me, but they do. And I roll my every time I read a certain phrase of words repeated in a book.


Last, but most important of all, I hate stickers of any kind on a book. From the Oprah O ( which is now mostly printed on the book), to the sale sticker, even the price tag. When I buy a book the first thing I do is sit (usually in the car in the book store parking lot) and peel off any and all stickers. If they are super sticky I get a tad bit anxious until all the gummy goo and remnants are gone. Just me......I need a cover unmarked by any annoying stickers of any kind. Is that too much ask?

Am I the only person these things bother?

Random daily wrecks

We all have these moments......these moments of emotional meltdown when we realize we are weak. Some days we bounce back...other days we climb back in bed and let sleep help us forget... here are 3 random thoughts of life today, now that I made it out of bed to type them:

My sweet son who used to tease me, joke with me, and yes...sit by me and talk my ear off , has turned the teenage key. His answers are grunts. My suggestions followed by an eye rolling, or worse, nothing. Dropping him off for school today he didn't even acknowledge me the whole ride (well- it is a block, and he was holding a poster.. but still!). He will always be my baby. Do I have to rock him after he has fallen asleep? I know teenagers are supposed to hate their parents, but I somehow figured my diligent love and steady flow of parental attention would make my family rise above it. I was wrong, and it hurts.

The caffeine battle has been won...by caffeine. I quit buying Diet Coke. I started munching on extra snacks instead....I was so tired I would sleep..... I was hungry all the time.... I could not get enough sugar, I swear, and I had no energy...and my eyes..they hurt to hold open. I am tired of putting on weight, and my house has suffered. The kitchen- the laundry, all of it. I am considering Diet Coke once again as one of life's sweet mercies. I will try not to start it at 7:00 a.m., and I have vowed to drink more water, but for now, for the sake of my sanity and marriage and kids, I am back to the sipping of the soda.....

Also- don't stop by and visit me today if you just drank alot. My bathroom door hinge broke and I can't close it. It will be open for every bathroom break, shower, and bath. Old houses are so cool. (And my teenager is furious about it.)

Yep....I'm That Loved (and that cool)

So as Mother's Day rolls around I always look forward most to what sort of little hand made gift my kids will come home with. I have been given flowers, pot holders of woven yarn, photo holders and even a bracelet made of buttons...(anyone who knows me well knows this gift was a very traumatic experience...I still wear it once in a while, out of love).

The cards are the best..they prove how your kids really feel. Here's the first, from my sweet 4th grader.

....and in case that simply doesn't prove my awesomeness here you go.......

It says..."Roses are red, violets are blue, I love u more than kung fu"

Best Card Ever

Introspective.....

What in your life is calling you?
When all the noise is silenced,
the meetings adjourned,
the lists laid aside,
and the wild iris blooms by itself
in the dark forest,
what still pulls on your soul?

In the silence between your heartbeats
hides a summons.
Do you hear it?
Name it , if you must,
or leave it forever nameless,
but why pretend it is not there?

~taken from the Terma Collective ~

Art Chix challenge of the week

Okay, so I'd like to say I call myself an artist, but the truth is I haven't sketched or painted anything in years. After blogging for awhile I started to discover blogs devoted to art and all things artistic, and it gave me hope. Maybe I'm not too old be creating frilly and silly things that make my heart race with satisfaction.

I am so happy to have finally finished another challenge by Helga at Art Chix. This challenge is to make an ATC or other small collage that somehow includes birds. Sunday afternoon was lazy with a drizzle of rain...no better time to make a mess cutting, gluing, and dreaming of artsy things. Here is my finished product.
The best thing about this little piece is I have an actual place for it...an old mirror with a little frame that has a hideous rose painted on it. I have wanted to put something cool in there forever (well, my husband might not think it is cool, but it's not like a monster truck would look any better!) so now this little collage has a home.

Sometimes it feels good to get back to the things that we once spent hours wasting time with before the world required us to be grown ups. For me, art does the trick.

Flashback Friday-My Oldest

As if my last post wasn't a flashback enough, I have been pondering how our children grow so strangely fast right before our eyes. Case in point: my oldest son. It honestly seems like yesterday he was a feisty little toddler, being sassy and independent and driving me to tears because I was sure I was failing him as a mother. Our last little jaunt to Moab reminded me how many times we went when he was little- with a lot of 4-Wheeling in my hubby's Bronco.

Please note the OH SO COOL Dr. Martins with the slouchy socks. Man, I rocked those boots! But enough about my shoes.... here I am with my oldest. I am pretty sure he was telling his father he WOULD NOT look at the camera and smile. But look.....see his little hand curled up in mine? See his little legs, his tiny little teeth in his rebellious smile? See? He is 2 years old or so here.
And then now.....

Fast Forward 12 years- he is almost 14, as tall as I am, swaggering home hours after school surrounded by boys looking for a snack and girls who won't even sip a drink. He got a new DSi and scrambled around the hills of Moab taking pictures of everything he saw. To my surprise he stood still for a quick shot of us without saying "No...that's stupid!" and the result was this little photo. I know....I am a baby, but it has already made me cry several times.

For those parents reading this I know you can sympathize with me on this one. For you non-parental readers, just nod your head and say "Why yes...that does sound completely traumatizing. YOu must feel like your life is slipping away. "
Thank you.

Random pieces of my past

I have always been obsessed with TV and pop culture, but only by my own choice. here are a few of the heartaches that propelled me through my youthful years and kept me striving for the high life.

I owned this lunchbox and loved the show just as much....
I remember pretending I was the Bionic Woman as I cleaned, jumped down the porch steps, and babysat. I would swish my hair behind one ear (even if it wasn't long enough) in a mannerism just like Lindsey Wagner's.
I even taped my top lip in a fold for a few nights hoping to get a little flaw like her scar. It didn't work.









Marie Osmond was also a dear obsession of mine. I remember her lips always being glossy shiny, and I just loved the way she laughed at Donny. So carefree and beautiful, her face always glowing and her smile so big. I tried to stretch my mouth and practice smiling, which of course never looked like Marie's. To this day I have issues with my small teeth and little mouth. I blame it on my young obsession with Marie. The fact that she was a Mormon just made me that much more like her. When we moved to Utah I prayed someone from the show would 'discover' me on the streets of Provo and ask me to be an ice skater (it didn't matter that I don't know how to ice skate) I just knew it COULD happen.....




I can never say enough about Ricky. Oh Ricky...sigh...heart beat...sigh. I loved him more than any tween has ever loved an idol of any sort. I dreamed about him. I sang to him, I wrote shows which included me as his love interest/guest star. I sketched his cute little face and freckles secretly. When he called himself "The Rickster" I melted. I loved him so. I will go as far as admitting my first dream about making out involved Ricky Shroeder. He unlocked the passions of my sad little pre-teen life..... when I heard he married a Mormon girl I was shocked to think "But the WRONG girl!!" My heart still skips a beat when I see him on TV, although I have never followed his acting career as an adult.

Somethings are better left as memories.

Ahhhhh. These memories make me smile.

It's a Win-Win (Win)

The lucky ducky winner of my necklace made with love is CB2 of the Egocentric Mediocrity blog. I was thinking he had a good chance, as he out numbered any one elses entries by about 8 to 1, and I was right, it paid off. So please e-mail me or send me a little message on Facebook with your mailing address so I can get the necklace to you. Yay! Winner!

Now I am a winner because I made it through actually 6 days of being in bed (that is a long time to be sick as a grown up) and recovered in time for this:

Why, yes! That is me on the edge of a random high cool cliff in Moab. Spring Break took us there and to Mesa Verde, for miles of hiking and exploring- with hours of recovery in the hot tub, of course. It was the kind of trip that reminds me the great wonders in life are free.





That is where the final WIN comes in. Like Pam on The Office reminds Michael, I am reminding you ...there are Win/Win/Win situations all around us.

Now go find a sunny spot and soak up a little bit of life's simple pleasure. Sunshine.
(Who knows when the next snow storm will hit.)