And the season can start now.....

My brother reminded me that last night was the local sing along of The Messiah, by Handel.

I sang in our high school choir and chamber choir, and was directed by the notable "Mr. D". That man had a way of making us teenagers believe there was nothing more important in the world than a well sung song. Christmas was a blur performances and traveling and watching people dab their eyes as you sang your heart out for them. I loved every minute of it.

This video surfaced this year on You Tube, and the awe of this moment, of proclaiming something like this in public, still makes me cry after watching it at least a dozen times.

Mr D. always had a Christmas concert, and the last song was the Hallelujah Chorus. All the alumni who had sang in his classes before would come up from the audience to join the current choir, as students young and old packed the stage to sing this work by Handel. There was nothing like it.

(me-in the sunglasses- and my choir friends with Mr D. and his wife in Disneyland, where we went for our choir tour. 80's clothes and hair, just a bonus.)

Now when I sing it I can barely make it through the notes, which I still have proudly memorized, without a tear or two of my own.

Add to that equation a son, a teenager no less, who has suddenly picked up this love for singing, singing his part by my side, and excited about the song. We filled the chapel, and then some....shoulder to shoulder, hundreds of voices with the accompaniment of a full orchestra and none other than Mr. D. on the organ.


Moments like this seem almost surreal to me, the cycle that life is, the things that stick with us, the beauties of music and art. I felt truly blessed to experience this work (which Handel produced in it's entirety in a miraculous 24 days) and as we sat down at the end of the song (it is proper to always stand for this number) I leaned over and said to my brother, "Okay, now Christmas can come". He nodded, understanding me exactly.

On our way out of the church we noticed a new inch or two of snow covered the walks. The night was quiet, the feeling so sweet....my son grabbed the shovel at the door and started cleaning the walkway "in case the old ladies come out this way."

Then I returned home to a clean house, Christmas boxes stowed away again, candles burning, dishwasher running, and the tree sparkling and glowing.

And the Christmas spirit is here........

I'll Wake Up Early For You

Why does a gal that loves to SLEEP IN (especially on rainy fall days), and usually hits snooze a few times, and always needs just a few more minutes get up at 6:00 am with no hassles?

Because 15 years ago this happened

and that sweet little baby is still sweet, but not so little anymore ,

....and he wants french toast today before leaving for early morning seminary.

....and I love that, in spite of me being the annoying parent, he will occasionally make my day and stand still for a picture with me. I love that he has a grown up sense of humor and makes me laugh when I least expect it. I love that he is a big brother and go-to guy when I truly need it. I love that he has taken to singing and enjoys making music with voice and guitar. I love that he is 4.0smartasallgetout and I have no idea how to help him with his homework.

Happy Birthday, Connley. I love you.

where in the world have the past 15 years gone?

Blog number 2 wins today

I promise I will be back with yummy images and fall musings soon. I have been hoarding photos and obsessing over magazines a little too much lately. You shall benefit.

What else have I been doing?

Oh yeah...reading.

As the year comes to a close I am in a panic. I really wanted to read 40 books this year, and I am at 29 right now. It is a goal I made with myself, and last year I only read 24, so I am already ahead, but I thought I could do it much easier! (Boo to those weeks of laziness I 'took off' from reading this spring).

I have been involved in a little book club for the past 3 years or so, and it has been a great thing. Great discussions, great books, great friends. I love reading things other people pick, because it gets me out of my comfort zone.

Last month we started a blog......I mean, I started the blog, and it was time to catch up for our Saturday meeting. If you want to see what's up visit my other blog, which won my attention today on posting.

Otherwise, stay tuned. Fall is in the air- and holidays are on their way!

Fighting 40

Soooo..... the big day is here. I was wondering if it would feel weird, you know, old, to be turning 40. The only weird thing about it is I still feel so childish some days. Oh well.

This is how I turn 40

Get up and go running here

My favorite place to knock off 3 miles.

Order a little somethin-somethin from Hammering Redhead on ETSY

I picked my little ones initials for my own admiring. Her jewelry is the kind of stuff you see other people wear and feel jealous.. That will be ME when it arrives. (thanks Melanie for the nice correspondence, too!)

Break down and get the hair you have wanted all your life

Courtesy of REMY hair extensions.

I

LOVE

these things.

Get a thrill in Las Vegas seeing Phantom (amazing, amazing, amazing) and riding the Big Shot on the Stratosphere during my girls only weekend

Lest you think the ride is not scary, please look again. Pay attention to my horrified face.

I guess a picture is worth a thousand words (or laughs, in my case) after all.

(for the record, my pants stayed dry, so I am not as old as I sound)

And that is how I am fighting (or not so much fighting, but relishing) turning 40. Hope I am having this much fun 40 years from now, too.

Eat Cake

photo by Sweet Tooth Fairy

"Cakes have gotten a bad rap. People equate virtue with turning down dessert. There is always one person at the table who holds up her hand when I serve the cake. No really, I couldn't, she says, and then gives her flat stomach a conspiratorial little pat. Everyone else who is pressing a fork into the first tender layer looks at that person who declined the cake and they all think, That person is better than I am. That person has discipline. But that person isn't a person with discipline, that is a person who has completely lost touch with joy. A slice of cake never made anybody fat. You don't eat the whole cake. You don't eat cake everyday of your life.
You take the cake when it is offered because the cake is delicious. You have a slice of cake and what it reminds you of is someplace that's safe, uncomplicated, without stress. A cake is a party, a birthday, a wedding. A cake is what's served on the happiest day of your life."

Jeanne Ray "Eat Cake"

photo by The Chocolate

Thanks for the bakery stop on our little dinner date last night, honey. That slice of cake gave me the sugar sweats.

Worry not, the Diet Coke kept me focused. I finished the whole slice.

And thanks to authors like Jeanne Ray, who so eloquently express what my sugary obsessed brain can't seem to say, and makes loving the cake a matter of virtue.

Spooky Scary Windows

A few years ago I saw this idea in Country Home magazine (moment of silence in remembrance), and used it on my windows for Halloween. This year I am changing it up to make it a little more creepy.

You need to find black butcher paper. I got mine at a local party supply store. You will need enough for all your desired windows that you want to cover, but it can be pieced together as well.

With an exacto knife, cut out any shapes you like

You can trace it first with a white crayon, but I prefer to just free hand it. You can also look at a pumpkin carving book for ideas that won't punch out all the way. Then put it up in your window, covering the entire area with the paper.

This photo shows the effect during the day, as the light comes through.

And at night, a peek from outside, on my porch. Cutout door and dollar store Frankenstein with spooky streamers.

Now, I was able to snag some old creepy movie posters that finished off my scary windows. Video stores are not allowed to re-sell these, so if you know someone who works at a video store you may be able to sweet talk your way to a poster of your own.




Movie posters are designed to hang on a lightbox, so the image is reversed from the other side and light can filter through.

I covered two windows, one on the side and one on the front of my house this way.

The window at night, from outside



I love the creepy look on my old house, and have already had a few people comment on the spooky look.

What spooky look are you trying this year?!

All About Me for Link Party

If you don't peek at Funky Junk occasionally, you are missing out. I loved this link party because I have kind of been lazy on my blog, and so between putting up Halloween decorations and sipping my Diet Coke I decided to play today.

Who am I ?

Messy Hair slightly blurry photo....the best

I am a mother of 3 boys and girlfriend to my hubby. I am artistic, religious, emotional, creative and somewhat fun. I love people, but cherish my alone time, and 40 is within weeks. How did that happen?

Where I live

A small town along the Wasatch Front, in a sweet home that was built in 1906. I walked through the house while pregnant with my first baby, and fell in love. We moved with dreams of fixing up the home to something fabulous....we are still working on those dreams!

What I love about my house
It has a story. It was built by immigrants from Iceland who helped settle the area, and every once in a while someone will knock on my door with a story to tell about the home's history. This shade tree that I have my little table under was planted side by side with another tree by the home owners when two sons went to war. One tree never grew or thrived, while the other sprouted up beautifully, and then the family received word that one son had died at war. They pulled the dead tree out and left this one, still alive, in the yard. symbolizing their surviving son.
When's the last time you heard a story like that at the latest development?

My favorite room
My Dining Room. It also is the home of my computer hutch and piano, so this is the heart of my house. I love it mostly becasue this is where we sit as a family for dinner, where we do homework, where I greet visitors. It isn't fancy, I know that, but it is just so real life.

What I like to DIY

Artsy tidbits and scrapbooks. I am happiest surrounded by photos and paper goods, making a scrapbook, or a charm for a necklace, a book mark, or fun tag for a gift. I tend to stick to small projects so I actually finish them.

I wish I knew how to.....

Be organized. I am a stacker, a saver, a "sure I will need this someday" kind of girl. I force myself to watch "Hoarders" every now and then just to light the fire of desire to purge (it works). But I wish that I had that neat-nik personality. My husband is neat. I am not. I defend my children's messes, and curse myself for not being tidy. I am not sure how to overcome that.





Why I love to blog....

to connect with other people, to write my story, and mostly, to sit back an take an objective look at myself on regular basis. I find it very therapeutic and my blog is a little bit random....but so am I.

I want, I want, I want

Some days I just kind of want to stomp my feet and beg for things.....

I mean, it is silly, considering I have lots of cool things already....BUT

I lust.

I keep telling my family that Santa better have one thing for sure on that sled for me

I am ready to move up from my point and shoot, but not ready to go full force photographer. The Rebel proves to be a good entry level DSLR.

I have tried to be very good all year, haven't I?

And because of the long distance business trips my secret stash is low.... I believe a visit to See's is in order.

We are starting to talk about the REMODEL. When the Ramsey effect has taken place, and we are fully debt free, including the mortgage!!!! ( sometime in the spring), we have decided we will do some renovating, and I can't stop pining over the idea of a new kitchen

(photo from Cottage Living). So hey, we will have a loan again at that point, but we know how to make mince meet of those silly debts, so we are not afraid. Long Live Capitalism!

Bring on the spring renovation!

I also have been thinking I need a cool pair of boots (these are from Elle)

I am anything BUT a cowgirl, but I just keep envisioning cute skirts, slouchy socks, worn jeans and tromping right over the muddy leaves all fall..... These just may be a necessity.

Speaking of fall...... let me sigh over the end of summer

I am a little bit mad at myself for wasting so many beautiful days this summer feeling tired and not chasing the sun as much as I should have...

but hey, there is always next year.

Almost a football fan

With little brother resting after his flag football game

And this guy working harder than I have ever seen him work

And the whole thing becoming a bonding moment between father and son

This girlie girl who has never really truly cared before

is becoming a fan

of football

Anniversary

Happiness is finding someone to love

Joy is having a family

Growing is making it through the good, and the bad

Fun is seeing the world

and satisfaction is knowing today is as great as every other day
no grand parties
no big trip
no huge gifts

Just enjoying each other

17 years and going.....

Arts and Craftiness

I have not been able to create anything for a while. That makes me a little bit crazy, so I like it when I have an excuse to cut and paste and stamp.

Our show recently opened and I was determined to make a little somethin-somethin for the other "wives" of the brothers in the play.

(Me and a few of the "wives", plus one brother that can't resist a photo op. We are in our Egyptian costumes, which are just too fun too miss.

ANYWAY I found some amazing graphics for an amazing deal at the Cute and Cool shop of Itkupilli, and so I made these little tags by using her graphics, adding a saying, and topping it with my favorite stamp.

I stuffed little bags with the tags, some chocolate (a backstage must) some gum (an onstage must) and a few crackers in case anyone needed a snack.


These were surprisingly easy and I will definitely be using this idea for future friends/sister/neighbor treats. I am always happy to find a simple thing to pull together that looks cute. I got the luggage tags at Staples and the bags at Hobby Lobby.


I am also happy to say the EAR is completely better ( who would have thought earwax could put you in bed?) but due to the disgusting details, I am not posting about that. I am feeling SO MUCH better for a few reasons (different post), and instead of telling my friend that cuts my hair to just 'trim it', I decided to actually get a new style. I know people say cutting your hair isn't that big of a deal, but I feel like a new woman.

AND PS- my kids started school yesterday!!!! Shhhh, don't tell...
I may just read blogs all day

Bits of Beauty

I told myself no more wallowing on here. Today I was determined to capture a few beautiful sights, and share them .

My husband has been pushing the kids to be more self-reliant, and here is my 10 year old finishing up his laundry for the day. A sight for sore eyes....

Hubby came home early and it is time to get going on our shed. This shed has been in our yard for many years, and after much debate we are renovating it instead of tearing it down. Here is the outside of the shed, with a new roof and new side paneling.

Me in hubby's paint stained shirt, ready to help add color.... and the final coat of red.

I love it already

Inside the shed, once we pulled off the paneling we fell in love with the knotty wood we found an online seller getting rid of these sheets of tin, which we will use to panel the inside some how. I love the tin, too. I can't wait to see how my hubby pulls it all together.

Luckily, I had a retail therapy moment.....tote bags on clearance at Victoria's Secret I love this bag. Right now it is holding my iPod and my yoga block, because I took it to the gym. The bag was $2.49. *sigh*
I got two. I am regretting not buying all that they had left.

In the mailbox today

Why does getting a magazine bring instant relief? Ahhhhhh.

And I made a new Food Nanny Favorite, "Crunchy Parmesan Chicken". This pan isn't beautiful, but I am proud of the fact that I walked into the kitchen and made dinner, when I really just wanted to climb into my bed.

My family ate every last bit of the chicken, and I also pulled off rice and a salad. Small victories.

A few beautiful things in my day.

On an honest note, I would appreciate any happy positive thoughts or prayer you can spare. I am back to the doctor tomorrow to discuss my world as I know it, and beg for help with my ear.

Heavenly inspiration is always appreciated.

Why sad days scare me

My sweet little-gotta go- excuse to visit- reason to buy books- highlight the pages book club just finished The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath.

I was shocked to hear that most of my little group couldn't relate at all to Esther's plight. I , on the other hand, was the only crazy in the room that TOTALLY got it. I have been Esther, way too many times in my life.

I was a brooding teen, depressed and low in self confidence, yet I managed to still have a blast with the right people. I struggled off and on with depression, complete with crying spells, over eating for comfort, and chopping off of hair in an effort to feel beautiful.

After the birth of my 3rd child, it hit full force. I was stuck in a foul-aired bell jar and I couldn't breathe. I didn't want to get up, clean, cook, or live. I often loaded my kids in the car and drove in circles, crying the whole time. I contemplated pulling 'a Marie Osmond' and driving away by myself. All I needed was my VISA and a pair of shoes....most days finding that much was an effort. I did stupid things, I was a horrible wife, and I just pretended to be a normal woman. It was the most horrible, darkest, loneliest time ever.

I won't go into details here, but suffice it to say, I did not value life. A summer on anti-depressants stopped the crying fit that had lasted days, but left me feeling hollow and robotic. After 4 months I went off it, never to look back.

I have learned a lot since then, and never been quite in the place I was at my lowest years, but bad days still scare me, especially if I have more than a few in a row. I can't help but worry- what if I start crying and can't stop? What if my children literally cause me to snap? What if ? What if?

On a good day, these thoughts make me laugh, roll my eyes, even admit how silly I can be, but on a bad day, they are more real than anything I know. So while I have had a little spell of bad days creeping around me lately I rely on what works for me now. Running to pounding music. Prayer and Temple visits. Massage and yoga. A treat by myself. A good book. A long, long nap. Taking vitamin B complex and St John's Wort, A weekend with my husband. He doesn't understand why I can't just 'shake it off' on these days, but he is very patient with them.

I guess part of this post is confession for why I have not blogged as much lately. Looking at the computer causes me to feel overwhelmed and anxious.

But today is a good day. Life is good. And to anyone who isn't feeling up let me just say..
I have been there.

PS- Kendra won my chocolate! Hope it brings a smile!