Saturday, February 20, 2010

Some days I hate it here

I am being totally honest.

Some days I see the stained glass windows, the tall ceilings, the sloped roof, and I sigh with a happy heart. My house feels like a cottage, and we seriously love spending time together here.

Other days, all I see are the cracks in the walls, the not so level floors, the old linoleum and the lack of storage.
Some days it smells musty and old. The walls are thick and I can't hang up a picture. The carpet, although redone, feels old.
My kitchen is more like a Smithsonian display of 70's hideousness than a workspace.

Some days I curse it, and even cry.

It is the day of upgrading. Friends and family alike, moving into new (great priced) homes with a pantry in the kitchen and real live mudroom. It is the age of big homes, beautifully painted and decorated with stone and stucco in yummy warm colors. It is the day of a great room and cold storage....
none of which I have.

I am sorry sweetie, that some days I don't appreciate it.
I know we are over indulged and many people live beyond their means.
I know that in just 24 months we will not even have a house payment. (I can't wait)

I know that we would not be different, happier, more content just because we change locations.

I know it is never good to compare and compete.
I know we are blessed.

I know we are better than we deserve.

But just some days....
I want more.

Am I bad because of that?

14 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Absolutely not! You are human. I love my little condo. But sometimes, when I see people
s beautiful, large homes, I get a twinge of jealousy.

But then I snap out of it. It's perfectly normal!

Shortcake and Company said...

Ahhh, Ramona! You stated it so perfectly!! We, too, live in an older home that has wonderful character and HUGE bedrooms. There's so much I love and then I feel the same as you. When friends/family live in newer homes. But, that's beyond awesome that you'll have no, no, NO house payment in a few years. Way to go!! Just wanted to say, "I feel ya, sister!"

Lisa said...

Not at all! Everyone compares their situation/life/relationship/house/kids/job/etc to others.

Just remember there are a lot of people who have a lot more than you, but there are people with a lot less too.

Plus, having no debt is freeing! Congrats on almost having your house paid off!!

Me (aka Danielle) said...

NO! I think its only human nature to want. I have similar feelings at times, but you have something many will never be able to say they have..NO DEBT. Revel in that my bloggy friend!

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I understand. I know I'm blessed all the time, but what I wouldn't give for a mudroom entry and a laundry room that is not in an arctic basement. Sigh. But I think I might give more for no mortgage: Hello REMODELING with my extra budget!

Wendyburd1 said...

Not at all!! Maybe you just need to tweak some stuff. Fresh paint in the kitchen or something.

Little Lovables said...

yep, we all experience it sometimes! but those people in their big fancy houses, whine to me about how they want fancier crown moulding or light fixtures or whatever :)

TJ said...

I drive past your house every school day and LOVE it (from the outside), but I def know what you mean. Our house was built in the 70's and looks it. All the rooms are small, and like you, no pantry.
Yesterday we were helping our cousins move into a new $700,000 house and it made me want a new house. But probably not one quite so big or expensive, just not old.

Bonnie said...

Not to worry Ramona, big house equals bigger mortgage!! $700,000 are you kidding me? Would'nt trade my mortgage for theirs EVER. Debt free=PRICELESS!!! Love your life, have fun, travel anywhere you want because you are not a slave to a bank, good for you. I love my 46 year old house it has character a new one never will, even if there is no pantry ;)

Dione said...

What? No house payments in 24 months? Rejoice, my friend! Spend the money on a new kitchen and build a storage shed in the back!

P.S. From the pictures I've seen, your home is beautiful and cozy! I love it!

Lee @ The Way I See It said...

Nope- just human. I feel the same way. I feel blessed to have this home, but it's SO big, so rundown, so much to do. Not a single floor is level, it's cold, the furnace is chewing up oil, and nothing's been updated since 1970. I wish we had moved into a newer home too- not necesasrily bigger, just newer. We don't even need all of the room we have. Our other haouse was 1700 sq. ft, perfect size for a family of 4. But, you're right- I am thankful that I have a home, that we can make our payments, that we have food on the table. Still.... hugs- Lee

The Mecham Family said...

Wanna know something? When I leave your house and head to mine. I wish i had your house. :)
My house is old, and feels old. Your house is a home and cozy and beautiful!

Lynnae said...

Oh.... I love your house so much. You knew you would get this from me though. We moved into ours ten years ago new, but sometimes I long for those old touches, nooks and crannies and woodwork, not to mention your stained glass. I have wondered how much it would cost to put wood framing around my windows in the inside so they looked like an old bungalow style- even thought of a multi-paned door between living room and dining room like you have....and the stained glass......to die for! I however, do have a great house with modern pipes and wiring.
Maybe we should house swap like on 'The Holiday!' LOL.
That settles it, we all need more than one house.

Fitzy said...

Please move across the street from me... There is a really cute house in foreclosure. 3 years old.. Just a thought...