Last night I was resting on the couch, enjoying my husband's company, when our phone rang. His 23 year old nephew was in a car accident that killed him instantly. The pale look on Mike's face, the pit in my stomach, the feeling that it just all a weird dream...all of those things took over. We are also on 'cell phone' duty- returning texts he received yesterday and answering to tell people the news. Mike has done a great job of that and didn't want his mom to have to deal with it.
Mike's parents have been taking care of this nephew since his mother (Mike's sister Carrie) died of cancer almost 3 years ago. He has always struggled and really leaned on my in-laws, and my mother in law promised Carrie she would watch over him and give him the help he needs. This is so hard for her, he was working graveyard shift at the grocery store and then driving, earning extra money and trying to make a life for himself. My mother in law is taking this so personal and this boy's dad has struggled with depression since he lost his wife. This puts a greater burden on those around him, and his brother he left behind. A family of four is now a family of two.
I have to look at it all and be reminded of the bigger picture. He had been visiting the cemetery and saying he missed his mom....the family is- as expected-pulling together. We are asking ourselves what we can learn from this, and feeling the peace that comes with knowing he is with his mother, who was so close to him during his life.
I don't want to be a downer and debated whether I should even post today, but how can I not? How can I not remind myself (and you) that life is precious, and that everything we have and experience is such a gift. The shock of an unexpected death is so surreal, but then the peace that comes when you ponder our true existence beyond this can not be explained.....I just wanted to let my feelings out and share this today. They have asked me to sing "Angels" at the funeral...I am not sure how you get through a song like this, it fits his little struggle through life so well...I am extremely honored but very overwhelmed.
Every day is a gift~ and there are greater forces around us at all times, and I hope I can be aware of that and do what I need to do.
18 comments:
Oh, Ramona, I'm so sorry. What a tragedy. I will be thinking of your family today.
Wow Ramona. I am SO sorry about your loss. What a terrible tragedy for your family. Your post touched my heart so much. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
I know that he was so young but obviously he was needed on the other side for a mission that is beyond our understanding. Things happen for a reason--however hard they are to handle. I know that the Spirit will comfort you and your family.
Ramona,
I am so sorry.It is always so hard to understand why things happen the way they do. I am thinking of you & Mike.
Hugs, Marie
Oh my. I'm so sorry Ramona. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
We were just talking about this. How much of a fear it was to lose a family member so tragically. I'm so very sorry. I cannot imagine what you are going through. I'm so glad you have your husband and he has you right now.
Oh I'm SO sorry this happened! You will be in my prayers.
Your post just made me cry Ramona! I'm so sorry for you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Much love,
Afton
My sincere condolences Ramona. I know that must be hard to post something so tragic and personal but thank you, it really made me think about how precious life is.
You know I love you SO much and wish I were there to pass out some hugs or make my famous choc chip cookies. But as I'm not, I put something on my blog to help make you smile. (I woulda just posted it here...but it's a video :)
http://somedayiwillsoar.blogspot.com/2008/09/to-make-you-smile.html
Please everyone, follow the above link. You will see me actually find death under the tip of a spider's leg. It is home video at it's finest.
Thanks for making me giggle today
Ramona, i am so sorry. my thoughts and prayers are with you and Mike at this tragic time in your family.
Ramona, I am SO SO sorry, how awful to lose someone so young. I will think of you and pray for you and your family today. Thank you for reminding me how precious life really is......
p.s. I do have another blog, not about diet and food!!! and by the way what is a magic bullet, sounds like I must have one.... my other blog is
http://houseofart-wendy.blogspot.com/
I update it lots more. and for the cabbage soup recipe. go to
http://www.cabbage-soup-diet.com/
Ramona I love you and miss you and your family…I’m sure that was hard to share. You will sing beautiful at the funeral.
I can't begin to "understand" what his father and brother are feeling right now. I know this is where we talk about knowing there is an eternal plan, but I think I would be so lonely, mad, and sad that it would be hard for me to remove myself long enough to look at the bigger picture. I hope they can let out a big gut wrenching yell every no and then, maybe hit something soft a few times too. Sometimes "knowing" the big picture isn't the same as being ok with it in the moment.
I have no doubt you will sound angelic as always. You have one of the most honest voices I ever had the opportunity to enjoy.
Thanks guys..... I should update you by saying I am singing "I Know that my Redeemer Lives". After reading the words to "Angels" I felt down and dark- and we are having the services in a church, where they request Hymns. I LOVE the song we've picked, and am doing a duet on verses 3 & 4 with Tina (beautiful voice) so I am feeling better about this.
His brother is really mad at God and has kind of denounced religion. I felt if I could do one thing, it would be to bear my testimony in song.
Calvin, the compliment you gave- about having an honest voice- is so humbling and uplifting to me tonight. Thank You.
Wow how horrible would it be to get that news after all the family have suffered through already. It is all but a moment though right? So hard to think in an eternal perspective when you are hurting now...
I am truly sorry! THank you for sharing though and reminding me of life's precious moments!
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